Artemisia de Vine: Sexual Fantasy and Desire Coach
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 deVining the Erotic

 The irreverent and insightful writings of

Sexologist and Retired Sex Worker, Artemisia de Vine

The psychology behind our sexual fantasies, turn-ons, and repeating patterns of attraction and desire.

'Sexual play is the perfect vehicle to explore all that it means to be human.' 

All content and original concepts copyright

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Sexual Fantasies are More than Escapism!

Sexual fantasies, like all stories, are not just running away from something. They are moving towards something important!

I cringe whenever anyone belittles the art of storytelling as unimportant, entertaining fairyfloss fluff and reduces the magic of stories to "an escape from the...

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The double-bind that destroys sex in loving relationships

Why getting your sense of safety from the wrong place can make it impossible to have a fulfilling sex life. Why you aren’t getting your sexual needs met, and why it is so hard to communicate what those needs are, even when you both desire each other, and are both self-aware, considerate...

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Solving Anita's Troublesome Sexist Sexual Fantasies - Part 1

Anita was turned on by things that troubled her. How could she trust her desire when it activated in response to sexist fantasies and inappropriate and traumatic events including hearing about actual sexual violence and rape on the news? 

And yet, when we took a closer look, we found that her...

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Ask them this to find out their true desires and turn-ons!

Here's the magic "open sesame" trick I used to get BDSM submissives to tell me what really turned them on, even when they didn't know themselves, and actively resisted telling me.

A professional dominatrix came to me for coaching and complained that when she asked clients what...

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Why do we have Sexual Fantasies and What do they Mean?

Artemisia de Vine offers a new and original theory: Sexual fantasies are the exact story that your ego needs to hear in order to let go and surrender into the vulnerability of pleasure and/or connection. 

Your fantasies may be make-believe but the effect they have on your mind, feelings and...

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The Purpose of Sexual Fantasies is to Create Ego Dissolution

Your sexual fantasies are the exact story your ego needs to hear so you can temporarily let your guard down and surrender to the vulnerability of pleasure and connection.

Once you understand the key narrative mechanisms in your fantasies, you can bring the power behind your fantasies out of your...

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The Meaning of Sexual Fantasies About Big Boobs!

Sexual fantasies of all kinds contain mini-stories in them. Each story is tailor-made by the subconscious of the person having the fantasy, in order to create the exact psychological conditions they need to let go and enter the vulnerability of pleasure. But some stories are more obvious than...

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What are Sexual Fantasies and does everyone have them?

The things you think about can create an emotional and physical response in you while also shifting your consciousness from everyday mode, into desire and/or sexual arousal. 

Sexual fantasies are valuable stories, tailor-made by your subconscious just for you, and are jam-packed with the...

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Make Your Desire for Deep Sexual Surrender Come True

Do you fantasize about your lover taking the lead, making love, ravishing, or dominating you in ways that transport you into ecstasy? 

Whether you are into the historical heterosexual model of man actively leads and woman surrenders "into her feminine receptive," ...

Or

You are far more...

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How to Masterfully Lead any Kind of Sex

So you want to learn to confidently take the lead in the bedroom (or dungeon!) in ways that leave you and your partner/s wowed? 

Whether it is an erotic massage, romantic sexual encounter, fantasy role play, or a BDSM scene, there is a skill set common to all that allows you to be...

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We love each other but the sex is bad | Help for couples

It's a more common dilemma than you might think. Seemingly impossibly mismatched turn-ons. Oh, they are madly in love. They fit. Domestic jig saw pieces that just work on a personality level but when it comes to sex it is a tug-of-war.

It doesn't have to be this way! 

Content note: Mildly...
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Can Sex Rewire Trauma-based Negativity?
Defaulting to focusing on the negative is no more realistic than defaulting to focusing on the positive. Both are equally distorted projections with their own sets of limitations and consequences.
Those who look at a painting and only see the dark colors, only see half the picture, just the...
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