Artemisia de Vine: Sexual Fantasy and Desire Coach
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 deVining the Erotic

 The irreverent and insightful writings of

Sexologist and Retired Sex Worker, Artemisia de Vine

The psychology behind our sexual fantasies, turn-ons, and repeating patterns of attraction and desire.

'Sexual play is the perfect vehicle to explore all that it means to be human.' 

All content and original concepts copyright

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How Sexual Fantasies Solve Three Paradoxes

Sexual fantasies help us overcome three major paradoxes inherent to sex.

At the heart of The deVinery Method of bringing sexual fantasies to life, is the power of paradox.

The very thing we fear most about being vulnerable enough to open to sex, becomes the magic thing that transports us to...

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What Tantra, Somatic and Conscious Sex Gets Wrong!

"Sexual Fantasies keep you stuck in the head, and I am all about being present in the moment and fully embodied!" she said to me with no small hint of superiority. 

It took all I had not to roll my eyes at the woman before me parroting word for word what she had been taught without any...

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The trick to bringing Sexual Fantasies to Life!

I learned early on that there is an art to bringing your sexual fantasies out of your head and into your bed. It is not just a matter of living out your fantasies exactly as they are in your mind’s eye. You do not have to look like their celebrity crush, have a big dick, or actually be...

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Sexual Fantasies are Sacred Underworld Maps

Spirituality is the very last thing I am thinking about when I am indulging in one of my deliciously twisted sexual fantasies. It seems impossible to reconcile the taboo feelings with pure heart-centred ecstasy.

Yet by trusting my sexual fantasies - and my sexual partner’s too -...

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Painful Emotions can be Aphrodisiacs!

Mixing a little hell with your heaven leads to greater satisfaction in bed! 

If you ask most people if they are turned on by anger, shame, embarrassment, sadness or fear most will look at you like you are crazy! Other than a few people from the kink community, most people will answer,

"Of...

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Siren Call: Erotic Surrender and the Ocean of Consciousness

A real-life case study example of how deliberately understanding and engaging sexual fantasies can open us to moments of ego dissolution and profound erotic states of consciousness. How smut can be spiritual.  A story of a real encounter from my time in my former role as a professional...

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Emotions are felt somatically

And sexual fantasies are powerful stories made by your own psyche designed to unlock powerful emotional charge! 

If you watch a movie made by a master storyteller, your emotions will be evoked!

You'll fall in love with the main characters, hate the villain, squeal with surprise, feel vicarious...

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Sexual Fantasies and Horoscopes: The Muses of Eros

The muses that inspire world-famous astrologer, Rob Brezsny, and the muses that give me regular insightgasms about the nature of sexual fantasies, are close cousins. 

Hang on, what?! 

What do horoscopes have to do with sexual fantasies?  

Both are incredibly underrated sources...

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Worried understanding your fantasies will kill the magic?

Does breaking down the story narrative within your sexual fantasies make it less sexy?

Hell no! It leads to much better real-life sex! Here's why. 

Just like we are hardwired for sex, we are also hard-wired for stories. 


"Human beings have been telling stories as long as there’s...

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Sexual Fantasies are More than Escapism!

Sexual fantasies, like all stories, are not just running away from something. They are moving towards something important!

I cringe whenever anyone belittles the art of storytelling as unimportant, entertaining fairyfloss fluff and reduces the magic of stories to "an escape from the...

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The double-bind that destroys sex in loving relationships

Why getting your sense of safety from the wrong place can make it impossible to have a fulfilling sex life. Why you aren’t getting your sexual needs met, and why it is so hard to communicate what those needs are, even when you both desire each other, and are both self-aware, considerate...

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Solving Anita's Troublesome Sexist Sexual Fantasies - Part 1

Anita was turned on by things that troubled her. How could she trust her desire when it activated in response to sexist fantasies and inappropriate and traumatic events including hearing about actual sexual violence and rape on the news? 

And yet, when we took a closer look, we found that her...

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