deVining the Erotic

Ever wonder why the archetype of the BDSM Mistress or Master is so damn arrogant and selfish? Ever wonder why so many of us are so turned on by confidence and power that borders on obscene, but in real-life we hate it when people think too much of themselves? We truly don't want to be treated like r...

Why understanding our fantasies matters when reclaiming our bodies - and why I am convinced internal vaginal orgasms are better than external clit ones, but not for the reason Freud thought. 

I have hundreds of sex toys, as part of a legacy of a lifetime of sexploration, yet there is only one that ...

Women are booking sex workers more and more often. As women rise, they are looking for safe places to move beyond the wounds of trauma and heterosexual, patriarchal-driven roles where women are supposed to be desired, while men desire. There is a groundswell of women owning their sexual desire, fant...

And how you can make sure that you aren't one of the well-meaning, intelligent, in-love couples headed in the same direction!

Jay was really turned on by public sex. There was something super exciting to him about being witnessed in his most primal expression. It met a need he was unconscious of, a...

Some are drawn to work with me because they want a practical problem in their sex lives to be resolved. They initially ring my metaphoric doorbell because they are in pain and want to find a solution, and then stay because, in the process, they find so much more.

Or perhaps they book that first disco...

Sexual fantasies help us overcome three major paradoxes inherent to sex.

At the heart of The deVinery Method of bringing sexual fantasies to life, is the power of paradox.

The very thing we fear most about being vulnerable enough to open to sex, becomes the magic thing that transports us to those ...

"Sexual Fantasies keep you stuck in the head, and I am all about being present in the moment and fully embodied!" she said to me with no small hint of superiority. 

It took all I had not to roll my eyes at the woman before me parroting word for word what she had been taught without any original thoug...

I learned early on that there is an art to bringing your sexual fantasies out of your head and into your bed. It is not just a matter of living out your fantasies exactly as they are in your mind’s eye. You do not have to look like their celebrity crush, have a big dick, or actually be cruel. It is ...

Spirituality is the very last thing I am thinking about when I am indulging in one of my deliciously twisted sexual fantasies. It seems impossible to reconcile the taboo feelings with pure heart-centred ecstasy.

Yet by trusting my sexual fantasies - and my sexual partner’s too - that’s exactly wher...

Mixing a little hell with your heaven leads to greater satisfaction in bed! 

If you ask most people if they are turned on by anger, shame, embarrassment, sadness or fear most will look at you like you are crazy! Other than a few people from the kink community, most people will answer,

"Of course n...

A real-life case study example of how deliberately understanding and engaging sexual fantasies can open us to moments of ego dissolution and profound erotic states of consciousness. How smut can be spiritual.  A story of a real encounter from my time in my former role as a professional dominatrix. I...

And sexual fantasies are powerful stories made by your own psyche designed to unlock powerful emotional charge! 

If you watch a movie made by a master storyteller, your emotions will be evoked!

You'll fall in love with the main characters, hate the villain, squeal with surprise, feel vicarious embarra...